How to Prepare Your Children For Divorce

Written by Carpenter Family Law On August 1, 2017

While you are going through the beginning stages of your divorce, you may find it most difficult to handle your own emotions. But what about when it comes time for you to tell your children?

One of the most difficult conversations any parent will ever have is telling their children about their decision to split.

After all…

  • How will you even begin to tell your child that the life they have known is about to be changed forever?
  • How can you reassure them they will continue to be loved and cared for even after their parents’ divorce?
  • How do you prepare them for all the unknowns when you aren’t even sure how everything will turn out?

With the help of the tips below, you will be in a much better state to begin a conversation with your children about your divorce.

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1. Do not lie

Regardless of the situation, lying is always a terrible thing to do. However, lying to your children during a divorce is detrimental because it undermines your children’s trust in you. And during a difficult time, your children need to be able to trust you. So when they ask questions, it’s best to be upfront and honest with them.

2. Be positive

It’s hard to stay positive during a time like this, but it’s crucial to everyone’s mood and emotions. Having a negative attitude will only cause your children to become distant and secretive, so be open and positive and offer your support and love constantly.

3. Don’t play the blame game

Just because your feelings toward your ex have changed, that does not mean your children’s feelings have changed.

Blaming your ex is not helpful during this situation, because it forces your children in a position to choose sides, which is unhealthy and unfair to everyone involved.

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Things to tell your children about your divorce

The topic of divorce is difficult, especially when your children don’t understand what’s going on.

When you sit your children down to talk about what is going on, be sure to cover these 5 things:

  1. Be certain they understand it is not their fault
  2. Tell them that no matter what happens, they will always be looked after, cared for, and safe
  3. No one is to blame, no one is taking sides, it just means the family is going to be experiencing some changes
  4. Things will be fine and everything will work out okay
  5. Your parents will always love you

And be sure you do…

  • Make it easy for your children to love both parents – after all, despite a divorce you are both still their parents
  • Be truthful
  • Keep everything simple (or at least, try to)
  • Be civil and fair
  • Remain focused on the future

During a hard time, we’ll make it easier

You shouldn’t have to feel alone through your divorce process. At Carpenter Law, we’ll be with you every step of the way.

When you are ready to speak with someone, contact us for a completely free, no obligation, 30-minute consultation.

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