6 Secrets to Surviving A Painful Divorce

Written by Carpenter Family Law On July 26, 2017

We’ve been told that half of marriages end in divorce. But no one really tells you what to do after a divorce.

The moments leading up to your divorce might feel unbearable, but it’s the time afterward with all the life adjustments, that can be the hardest.

Here are 6 ways you can survive a painful divorce, and get back to living your life again.

1. Let yourself mourn

“Be strong”

“Don’t let it get to you”

“Put on a smile for the kids”

This is all great advice, but at some point you have to let yourself mourn. Let yourself feel. Let all of your emotions out, and then work on moving on.

If you keep all of your emotions locked up inside, you won’t be able to heal.

2. Don’t fight

While you are going through a divorce and dealing with all of the paperwork, asset allocations, and emotional ups and downs, it can be easy to get at each other’s necks.

But don’t.

Fighting only makes the situation worse and the divorce process gets dragged on if the two parties can’t come to any agreements on anything.

3. Lean on your support group

Whether it be family, friends, or a divorce support group, find a solid team and lean on them for support, advice, and company.

Divorce leaves people feeling heartbroken, hurt, angry, and overwhelmed – and at the end of the day, you just need people to talk to.

It may seem appealing to lock yourself away and fester in your emotions on your own, but that isn’t healthy or helpful. Get out there and let your loved ones see you through this tough time.

4. Keep your children out of it

Oftentimes, parents bring their children right in the middle of their divorce, tell their children what their mother or father did wrong, play the blame game, ask them to choose sides. But that is the worst way to maneuver a divorce.

Placing your children in the center of a divorce hurts them more than it benefits your frustration and anger in the heat of the moment.

5. Say it: “It’s not my fault”

Divorce happens. It’s not your fault. Don’t beat yourself up about it.

Dealing with your guilt with the least amount of self-hatred and self-loathing is key to surviving a painful divorce.

The quicker you come to terms with it, and place acceptance high on your to-do list, the faster you will be able to heal.

6. Take care of yourself

When you are going through a divorce, your main priority will be making sure your children are okay.

But it’s important that you take some time for yourself, too.

Self-care is vital in a time like this, and if you want to be strong for your children, you have to be strong for yourself, too.

Need to speak with someone?

You shouldn’t have to go through divorce alone. When you are ready to speak with someone, contact us for a completely free, no obligation, 30-minute consultation.

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